Beware...

Beware those who send out 'form newsletters' in the regular mail (most will arrive during the Christmas Season).  They unabashedly will boast of how incredibly well they and their families are doing:  All of their children are 'gifted', their income is commensurate to the jet setters of the world, and they donated to the poor and needy.

Me thinks thou doth protest too much!

Yuppettes... Stranger Than Fiction

I've seen it all this past season.  Mostly yuppie moms (but a few dads) who don't mind telling you how to 'better' run one's life.

 I received a lecture, from a mother of two, at a birthday party regarding the plastic garbage bags that I was using to contain the trash.  She insisted that I was further damaging the the ecology of the planet.  I'm not certain just what I was supposed to contain the trash with... perhaps a few thousand butterfly cocoons?  After lecturing me for almost ten minutes, she politely and in a most sophisticated way, excused herself to walk up to the parking lot to smoke a cigarette!

Public Notice... (click to enlarge)

Sad but True...

I had just received a letter from some 'princess' who voiced her opinion on the 'Bicker bicker blog. She thought that those type of meetings were quite reasonable, and said I was spoiled (but not in those words).

I guess that misery loves company, as they say for her. She probably spends her time serving on many 'important' social committees, whose sole business acumen is to determine what type of finger foods to serve at their next meeting!

The world is way too full of these 'pretentious yuppie erudites' who think that the universe revolves around them...Sad but true !

Bicker, Bicker...

After 41 years of owning 13 businesses, I have become fed up with associations. Now, you must understand that I have seen it all, from strip plaza associations to mall associations. They are a perfect microcosm of big Government politics. What a giant waste of time!

When leasing space in the sterile confines of a retail development, it is compulsory for each store owner to attend association meetings. I could go on and on with horror stories of (mostly women) bickering throughout the meetings (the men that willingly jump in to the squabble, may as well wear dresses, for they too can gossip and moan with the best of them).

Once, just before I walked out of an association meeting, they had gone from a 30 minute argument regarding what type of danish to serve (at these meetings), to (believe it or not), a 45 minute argument on whether or not to hire Barney (the purple dinosaur) to stand out on the street and wave to the passing cars. That dubious distinction went to the Merchants Association of Village West Plaza.

So, for those women (and women-like men) who each season insist on cajoling me into their petty groups, please understand this... I am (by your eruditic standards) a free spirit, even a tad bohemian. I will never again take part in a chamber meeting, a town meeting, or merchant association meeting. I leave those important resolutions of baked goods and barney's in your most capable hands.

Bragging Rights...

We're Still Standing!

Like the Elton John Song: I'm Still Standing... It started with "Not In My House Fashion Boutique" (some 36 years ago), continued with Ultrasage, Starco Gems, Volcano, Stresstronics Inc., and now we have: The Town Of Dry Gulch and Crystal Chateau. We've outlasted "ALL" of the so-called competition!

The Best Of The Best... (Field Trips)

I've spoken of the "Three Worst Field Trips", that, to this day, still blow my mind. Also agreeing with me are a multitude of other readers who have posted their comments (regarding the 'Three Worst Field Trips'). I would 'now' like to also give credit where credit is due to a few of the hundreds and hundreds of annual Field Trip Organizations who express admirable if not exemplary conduct.

~ Westfield Elementary (Mineral Minds): headed up by teachers, Mike Putney and Miss Kathy

~ Bemus Point Elementary: Jan Schauman, (teacher) and a host of teachers and chaperone's

~ Falconer Elementary Fenner, Carole Garrison (teacher)

~ Wattsburg Elementary: Sheri Hoffman, (teacher)

~ Cobham of Warren PA: Jamie Stright (loves it here so much that she brings the kids "Twice" each season!)

~ Corry Elementary: Karen Russell (teacher)

~ Corry YMCA: Michelle Brady (Child care co-ordinator)

~ Erie Camp Sherwin: Kristen Manslow (Child Care Co-ordinator)

~ Erie Eastside YMCA: Scott Gotham (Child Care Co-ordinator)

~ Harborcreek YMCA

~ Edinboro YMCA

~ Barb's Care-A-Lot: Harborcreek (over ten consecutive years of bringing the kids)

~ Findley Lake Day Care: Shauna Dobson (Owner)

~ Sinclairville Summer Rec: Andrea Gierlinger: (Counselor)

~ Sinclairville Elementary: Ken Lundmark (teacher)

~ Sherman Summer Rec: Barb Green and Cheryl (Counselor's) Six consecutive fun filled seasons)

~ TRZ Kidz: Lisa Lyon (Counselor)

The list goes on and on!

I have had these same same organizations come to Dry Gulch for years and years. They (teacher's, counselor's, chaperone's, and kids alike) have always demonstrated the utmost in courtesy and respect for the 'Dry Gulch Concept'. It is indeed a pleasure to work with them, and to watch the children grow.

Sheriff Bill

Sheriff Bill Shows Off His Art Talents... click here, or click the play arrow below.

http://www.angelsoflilydale.com

Professional Fees...

Last year I had the dubious distinction of receiving a letter from a well known Attorney in Jamestown, NY. and an equally well known Dentist in North East, PA. Upon opening the containing envelopes, I was dismayed to see that they were both enclosing... bills! There is really nothing worse than to receive an 'unexpected' bill in the mail. It took me a while to recall, but my attorney fee was for $100, which was for a phone call to his secretary. The dental visit was for the two and a half hours that I anxiously spent in his chair awaiting his decision on a problematic tooth.

This is the kicker. In both cases, I did not receive any services. The attorney situation was handled in one minute, by his secretary looking up some records, while I waited on the telephone. The Dentist kept popping in to tell me that he was very busy with a 'problem patient' in the next room, and finally came in to tell me that he didn't have the time to see me that day.

Now, if I spend time with a customer in the store here at 'Dry Gulch' (which I often do), and that customer talks my ear off for an hour, but departs without making a purchase; am I ethically permitted to send them an invoice for the time factor of: "Professional Fees"?

As John Stossel would say on the Fox News... "Give me a break"!

The Three Worst... You don't want to be a member of this exclusive club!

The three worst groups ever to attend a Dry Gulch Field Trip, are oddly enough those that are associated with a high degree of business and community acumen:

Previously, I've written about the PA. United Way Teacher whom I caught screaming at the children, and subsequently bullying them into a hasty departure, long before games and prizes were ever awarded... simply because she couldn't handle a 3yr. old who was in tears. Obviously the wrong profession for this day care teacher! Her United Way superiors refused to comment.

Running a tie for aberrant behavior is a group of young counselor's from a PA., Warren County YMCA.
They conspired to concoct a story regarding their harsh treatment while at Dry Gulch. They demonstrated a huge lack of interest in the children, and the gem mining activities, and like the United Way Teacher, they were ill-prepared to do the very job that they were hired to do. (i.e. Assisting the children in fun summer activities) The YMCA Supervisors never responded to the numerous letters which were sent from 'other' supporting organizations of Dry Gulch Field Trips.

The third (but certainly not the least) is also a PA. city YMCA. This exceptionally large group left the entire Gem Mine in shambles! Trash was dumped in the children's water trough. Equipment and coolers were left behind. Flower beds on private property were trampled. A major display was torn apart... and the list goes on and on. Once again the supervisors were contacted, but nothing was ever done.

... A major disgrace, that the leaders of these institutions have tainted their precepts of operation and service to their respective communities by disregarding the proper decorum of addressing these situations. Instead, opting for the old adage of turning a deaf ear!

Leave your ego's behind...

It's a shame that even the school field trips can be handled so disastrous by the teachers and chaperon's who plan them. Such was recently the case! It was a living cliche'. Power happy people: from the school bus driver who wanted to run the show, to the chaperon mom, who could only walk around and boast of her masters degree. Even two of the teachers made it quite clear that walking along the wooded trails was hardly their 'cup of tea'.

Please folks... a gentle reminder, this is the time for the kids. THEY are the stars of the show! Leave your fragile egos behind at the school. Sheriff Bill could care less about your masters degree, or the fact that you would much rather be out on the golf course. It's only two short hours out of your seemingly important lives.
At Dry Gulch... the KIDS rule!

Silver Lining...

Such a shame when a school field trip comes to Dry Gulch and the teachers only want to sit in the shade... not a very good show of enthusiasm for the children to observe. But, every cloud has a silver lining (as they say). This time it was a single male chaperon, who walked the trails the entire event, and even went and picked up tools and papers afterwords. The five females (some were teachers) barely lifted a finger, and only two even said thank you at the close of the event. It was the gentleman, who again put them to shame. He both thanked me and added what a wonderful experience his daughter had. He remarked: " This mining experience gets the kids away from the computer games and provides both a reward of keeping the gems along with a lasting learning experience". By the way... 'All' the kids were a great bunch! They repeatedly thanked me and said they were anxious to come back.

Bees...

Usually it's the kids that get into mischief here in the Dry Gulch Gem Mine. But, this is the strangest of all twists.

There was a medium sized group of kids and moms here for their very first excursion into Dry Gulch. I gave the same orientation (as usual) regarding rules, finding the gems, and not to destroy anything along the trails. I turned them loose, and proceeded to casually walk around, answering questions and assisting the tiny children.
I was walking down the long main trail when I noticed a mom stooped low to the ground. She was poking a long stick through the fence located at the miniature train set. I stood unnoticed, and observed as she desperately (if not methodically) tried to knock some of the miniature town figures into the small water pond. I could hardly believe my eyes! I walked up to her and inquired as to why she was poking the town's characters with a stick. She quickly stood up, dropped the stick. She became very befuddled (kid caught with hand in cookie jar), and stated: "I saw a bee in there and I was trying to poke it".

Like John Stossel says: "GIVE ME A BREAK"

The Creme Doesn't Always Rise To The Top... But The Sludge Sure Does!

Just about everyone remembers the purchase of their first car. I sure do! It was a warm summer evening when my dear old father took me to 24th and State Street (in Erie) to go car shopping. Of course, in those days, it was always used car shopping. A decent used car went for around $500. Even at that amount a loan was required along with parental co-signers, and your first born as collateral. The owner of the car lot and his 'shark' reputation, came a stumbling out of his tiny shack (office) to put the squeeze on. He was a typical 50's greaser with dark slicked hair... a duck tail in the back and an Elvis wave in the front. The cars that he sold were always previously owned by a sweet little old lady, whom he knew personally!

I got sucked in and bought the car, but that's not the story. You see, this guy went on to become the biggest 'New Car Dealer' in Erie, (now residing in Florida and sometimes in Erie). He gained political clout as his dealerships increased. He purchased a small plane, learned to fly, (not to well according to his runway accident report), and even had sports events named in his honor. He was able to frequent the company of the Erie Mayor, and County Executive. And still today, he is held in the highest esteem of the elite upper crust social circles.

If you have never read the "Peters Principle", do yourself a favor. It depicts guys like this... rising to the heights of their own inabilities. He (unfortunately) has been cloned into all areas of Politics, Large and Small Business, Entertainment, and even Tel-evangelical Religion.

Tis the sludge that always rises to the top these day, and no longer the creme!

Pleeeeease...

Please Moms... Be absolutely certain that you want your booking scheduled on a given date. It is a severe imposition for us to reserve your date (which means, all others who call are turned down on that date, as we hold it in good faith for you until we receive your deposit in the mail), then we find out, weeks down the road, that you have changed your mind.

Some moms do this every season without any consideration for the Dry Gulch Staff, or the many other moms wishing that they could have booked that very date. They think ahead only as far as their nose. And when something "pops up" in their schedule they panic and pull the plug.

Suggestion for scatter brain moms:
Step 1. Go to our web site: http://www.townofdrygulch.com It will answer 99% of your questions on cost, location, facilities, luggage to be packed, jail visitation, currency rate
exchange, etc.
Step 2. Talk it over with your kids, spouse, priest, analyst, board members, congress, etc.
Step 3. Check your calendar, moon charts, horoscope, lottery number.
Step 4. Call Barb: (716) 769-9888 She is a real person (not a robotic machine), and
extremely friendly!

Award Winning Performance...

Do you ever have a memory that for some reason or other will stick around forever... even if you don't want it to? Well, that's the case here. Over twenty five years ago I had the gem mine located in an Erie Plaza. There was a UPS driver whom everyone in the Plaza got to know, and thus dubbed him, "The Little Old Lady", due to his propensity for gossip. One day, he had just dropped off a load of packages which I signed for, he commented that the girls in the Yuppie Hair Salon next door, were unhappy with their purchases (from my store) of gemstone bracelets, made the day before. Although my instincts told me that he was merely trying to "stir the pot", I caved to curiosity, and walked to the Hair Place to ask them in person. The owners husband happened to be seated at the counter (he was known for constantly hanging out in his wife's salon to 'check out the other women'). As I quizzed the puzzled girls to make certain that they were happy with their purchases (and they were), the owners hubby, in his most practiced Harvard Intellectual Dialect stated: he was far too busy to listen to his beloved employee being harassed. I was dumbfounded and started to politely explain the situation involving the gossipy UPS Driver, when, without warning his chair tipped over backwards and he fell beneath the counter. Quickly, he lost his erudite drawl, and began a tirade of expletives, which left customers shaking their heads.

The next day I was approached by the UPS Driver who blatantly stated that he heard I had assaulted the Yuppie Guy from the hair salon. I chose the high road, and refused to comment on the situation, knowing full well that he again, wanted to get something started. This infuriated the Driver, and later I was told that it equally infuriated the Yuppie Hubby. Their pride was forever damaged.

In the long run it has taught me a 'life-lesson' about people. It revealed their pretentious behaviours. their internal drives to irritate, and above all, their innate ability to turn things around on innocent people in order to justify their foolish exploits.

I thought of a contemporary parallel to my 'nagging' incident, just the other day, when hearing how a certain grandmother (of national acclaim) is cleverly altering her story regarding her daughters alleged murder of her own little tot. In a taped pre-trial hearing, the grandmother, held everyone from the investigating police to the attorneys, responsible for her daughters 'reprehensible' , not to mention, 'criminal behavior'!

What a shame that we now have grown complacent to living in a world where the guilty are 'so' well versed on turning things around. Twenty Five Years Ago it was few and far between with seemingly small and insignificant incidents, like that which I experienced. Today it is the 'norm' complete with Academy Award Winning Performances, and overt collusion from family and friends.

Field Trip Crashers, (sorry no booze)...

The last event of the season, and no surprise, another disgusting incident. With approximately fifty individuals just roaming around in the parking lot area of Dry Gulch, it probably seemed easy for this couple and three kids from Ohio, to just blend in. It would have worked if it weren't for the fact that the observant teacher, who yearly organizes this final event for his students, failed to recognize this couple and kids. When he told me that they were 'not' with his group, I approached the mystery couple and asked. They stuttered and stammered, not quite certain as to what to say. When I politely explained that it was a "private" field trip, they got all indignant and left in a huff exclaiming, "we're from Ohio"!

Now party crashers never surprise me, for booze is the lubricant that loosens the soul. But, Field Trip Crashers... give me a break!

Jim Mime or Gem Mine... No Difference!

The tiniest little munchkin was a tuggin' on my shirtsleeve. "Hey Sheriff, he said, are you as rich as all the jewels in the whole world"? I leaned over and replied, "I'm rich with all the little 'jewels' that ask these questions". After long pensive thought he skipped away singing... My name is Jim and I love the Jim Mime.

Supercilious Mom...

At most of the private birthday party events, the parents will stay and join in the fun (walking the trails, enjoying the pleasant scenery, etc.). I in fact, encourage that. Children grow up all too fast. If you blink you may regret not being at something so memorable as "Dry Gulch", with the kids, and later on regret it. Then, you cannot turn back the hands of time... too late. I post this philosophy all over my web site and flyer's. But the yuppie moms, especially those who feign self importance, rarely do anything with their children. They are too stuck on pretentious erudite "flaunting" of themselves.
And so, one yuppette was standing in front of the main store, after coming back to pick up her son. She was sooooo stereotypical... two of her legs equaled one leg of that of a normal woman, as she stood like a stick in her perfectly pressed denim jeans and five inch heals. She announced (very loudly with flapping bird like gestures) to the other moms: " What is in that store over there"? When no one answered, I politely said: "It's a beautiful store full of my stone sculptings, artwork and incredible gifts... please go in an look around". She once again, in a very loud whiny voice (so as to attract maximum attention) said: "I just don't know what's in there, I just don't know".

Someone get this supercilious lady a minion to do her bidding!

Erie Zoo & Dry Gulch (something in common)...

Tons of individuals pull into the parking lot each season, and ask the same old question:

"Can we go into the Gem Mine and just look around (without buying a ticket), just to get an idea " ?

NO...No...No! Try going to the Erie Zoo and asking if you need a ticket to just "go in and look around"!